Strip Mall University

Ok, so I am now convinced that my evil twin (or maybe one of the other personalities a la "United States of Tara") is wreaking havoc on my search for meaningful (profitable) employment.  I have never had this much trouble getting a job.  I have been told that I interview well.  I have a professional, spell checked, and concise resume.  I have twelve years experience and a degree.  I would even consider taking an outrageous pay cut, just to have some place to hang out for 6-8 hours a day.  WTF is wrong here?? 

It has recently occured to me that Bachelor's degrees are now worthless.  What I am about to say is controversial, and many people may not like it, but I speak from my own personal experience.  The post high school educational system in this country is fast becoming the credit system of the last decade.  Just the same as not everybody 'deserves' to own their own home, not everybody 'deserves' a Bachelor's degree.  These days, anyone can get a degree.  There are satellite campuses cropping up in small towns all over Tennessee.  At first glance, this seems like a good idea.  I mean, education is important, right?  Not so fast.  Some people just were not meant to attend college.  Providing a college education to every Joe Six Pack does not lift up education, it simply floods the  market.  It also creates a sense of entitlement that, as we now know from the housing crisis, will eventually completely devalue the Bachelor's degree.  For example, The University of Tennessee offers a BSW at their Ripley campus (campus=tail end of a strip mall).  So, basically, Jane Q Public can attend college for a couple of hours a week and in a few years...Voila! College graduate.  But, what exactly has she learned?  What sort of experiences has she had?  I have been told that it is impossible to fail in this environment.  Of course it is.  The powers that be that were so instrumental in bringing the campus to their lovely town can't have a failure rate.  So, JQP will be passed along.  The number one reason places like Ripley can't get industry in their towns is the lack of an educated labor pool.  So, what's the quickest way to remedy that?  Give everyone a degree.  But what about the education?  Allow me to illustrate for you the 'education' I received in college:

1. Failure is always an option.  When you don't do the work, you fail.  Simple as that.  There was no facebook, no sharing assignments, no email chains, no take home tests.  I learned this lesson the hard way, with lasting effects.  Sure, laying around my dorm room watching "Jenny Jones" was awesome; but when grades came out...oops!  That lesson served  me very well in the workplace.  I can guarantee that if 50% of my class failed a course, the university would still be up and running.  Can the same thing be said for Strip Mall U?  That's the point, some people will fail.  Out of those folks, some will get their asses in gear and buckle down, and some will be eliminated.  It's the way of the world.  I was the only person vested; therefore, it was a test of dedication.  I could very well still be answering the phone at a doctor's office (admittedly, best job ever), but I was dedicated and able to pull it together without any outside assistance.  That, gentle readers, is the difference.

2.  College is an expensive investment.  I didn't qualify for financial aid.  A year too early for the Hope Scholarship in Georgia.  The Hope Scholarship is a great program, for the deserving.  But, just like so many other government programs....it's original intent was morphed into an entitlement program.  My dorm exploded my Sophomore year.  1993 brought every high school graduate out of the woodwork.  1994 brought all new faces.  You know why?  They were replacing the inaugural Hope Scholarship kids that flunked out.  And so on and so on.  There were some definite bright stars out of the bunch, but 13% of recipients don't make it past the second quarter.  Eventually, 18% do not graduate Georgia Board of Regents Report.  18% doesn't seem like a lot, but consider the cost of each semester and multiply that by 4200 students who didn't cut the mustard.  Government entitlement programs make it clear that your aptitude and intelligence are less important than your neediness.  Receiving a college education is a privilege, but it is quickly becoming a right.  When you shit the bed on the state's dime, you should go home.  If a college education is truly important, there will be a way to get it.  If not, there is still a way to get it...so how do you tell at graduation which students were a good investment and which were simply just continent? 

3. Getting a degree involves sacrifice. It shouldn't be easy. Working isn't easy, and really, isn't college supposed to prepare you for work?  I resided in the uncool dorm for three years.  While most of my friends were out getting married and buying homes, I was studying the floor for an errant quarter.  The freshman 15 was a joke, as there was no way I was gaining any weight on a diet of ramen noodles and a weekly Big Mac (quartered, so as to last for four meals).  I tried pot in college for the first time, but ultimately had to give it up because it was too expensive.  Not to buy, but the groceries the insatiable hunger required were not in my budget.  Did I want to haul my lazy ass to the library to type papers?  Hell Naw.  But I did it.  Did I want to sit in a classroom with a barely fluent professor and frantically take notes? No.  Did I want to make peace with the obnoxious bitch in the room next to mine who had an affinity for Shania Twain at ear splitting decibels? No.  But, that peace making prepared me for the doofus in the next cubicle.  All that dime splitting prepared me for responsibility.  Rushing to my job at the doctor's office when I would have rather attended a study group taught me about sometimes having to do things I didn't really want to do. I am certainly not saying that one must live on campus to receive a full education, I did the commuter gig for a while too.  It is not fun, nor is it easy.  Time management takes on a whole new meaning when you get off work at 5 and you must be seated in a classroom 60 miles away by 5:45.  Had every opportunity been handed to me on a silver platter, I would have had to test the concept of sacrifice out at work....not a good proving ground. If I had been able to hang up my smock and drive 2 miles to my campus twice a week to sit in a class of no more than 20 students while each lesson is spelled out for me, that would certainly be convenient...but would it be educational?   What are strip mall graduates sacrificing?  Money....no.  Full time work (and full time salary)...no.  Time...no.  Lessons on how to deal with adversity...you bet.

4. College is big.  Colleges come in all different shapes and sizes.  In my hometown, LaGrange College sits high upon a hill (one hill).  My alma mater, The University of West Georgia, sprawled across several acres.  Bigger still, The University of Georgia requires a map.  A typical registration day started by standing in line at the Registrar's office.  Once you received a slip of paper, you must then transport that paper to an advisor (always located at the most remote location from your starting point) where you will sit and wait for your esteemed advisor to blow into the office and sign off on said slip.  This wait could vary between 5 minutes and 5 hours...appointments mean nothing. Once you have secured the signature, you will then return to the now doubled in size line at the Registrar's office to select your classes (yes, I went to school in the dark ages...before online registration).  Unfortunately, one of your classes is full already, so now you will be required to attend open registration the following week, but we will get to that in a moment.  After you have registered for all but one of your classes, you will now make the trek to the bookstore to purchase your materials (the walk back won't be as bad as your pockets will be much lighter), and then it is off to the Bursar to pay for all the madness.  The following week, you rise at 6am to get a good place in line outside the gym.  Once you have been granted entry, you will wander from table to table, begging classes.  At this point it doesn't really matter what class you get, just the number of hours.  "I need five hours, whatcha got??" can be heard echoing off the polished hardwood.  When you finally obtain a seat in UBW 101 (underwater basket weaving), it's back to the Registrar for more stamps and signatures.  Back over to the Bursar and then finally the bookstore (for your basket weaving supplies) and you're done!  How great would it be if all you had to do was walk through what used to be Cato's, register at the old Western Auto, then finish up at the former Sally's Beauty Supply?  All that bigness serves a purpose.  One of the most valuable lessons I picked up was how to deal with red tape.  Nothing at work is ever as simple as it should be.  When I have to refer a client to a community resource, I already know that it will not be as simple as picking up the phone and Presto...client referred.  I will patiently navigate the red tape and deal with seemingly impossible scenarios.  You know why?  Because I have done it all before.  I expect red tape.  There is a whole big ol' world out there, learning to navigate it is key. 

5.  Speaking of big worlds, isn't college supposed to broaden your horizons?  What sort of education can you get in a 5 mile radius?  Honestly, how many different types of people are you going to encounter?  Sitting at a desk all day answering calls from Jerry, Fred, and MawMaw; only to go to lunch to sit at a table across from Jerry, Fred, and MawMaw; returning to work and then getting off at 5 to drive a block to school to attend class with Jerry, Fred, and MawMaw.  Stopping by WalMart after class to run into...guess who!  "Get a degree without ever leaving your hometown" seems to be the mantra these days.  What exactly does one learn from routine and familiarity?  I would love to know how a strip mall BSW gets an education in society and people from a textbook. 

Perusing help wanted ads has shocked me into a reality I never expected.  The jobs that I qualified for 5 years ago now require a Master's degree.  4 year degrees are the new high school diplomas.  The influx of "educated" candidates has forced employers to raise their requirements but not their compensation or their standards.  Just as the real estate market was flooded with buyers, the work force is now flooded with degrees.  Unfortunately, the seller's market crashed.  Offering a mortgage to every breathing American destroyed our economy.  Offering a degree to every breathing American will do the same.  So much more than sheepskin goes into a college degree, the education comes from the process and the sacrifice.  This June, I will begin classes to further set myself apart from the degreed masses.  I have to admit, it is a tad bit disheartening to put forth the time, money, and effort to get an advanced degree just so that I can qualify for the same jobs I competed for 5 years ago.  I get the concept of bettering myself and all that jazz, and I truly do value education and opportunity, but when Tammy down at the Dollar General has her degree framed next to her cash register...something has gone terribly wrong.