You Know What They Say

I have a friend who says a phrase at the end of whatever she is explaining.  It is her way of ending her point.  She says, "And stuff."  She hates that she does this, as do I, and so she has started trying to stop using it.  It never fails though, as soon as she lets her guard down, "And stuff" comes right out.  It really isn't a big deal, but it made me think about the phrases people use to verbate (is that even a word?) the punctuation mark "...".  I began to listen to those around me and have collected a sample of how others trail off after making their points...

"First One Thing Then Another":  My dad says this, often in response to "What have you been doing", but sometimes in response to "What did you buy at the store?" or "So what did you and so-and-so talk about?"  Usually, he will tell me the answer, "Oh, I bought some dog food, shaving cream, and orange juice" but then will insert "First one thing then another" as a way of saying "I did/bought/discussed a number of other items but I don't feel like going into all that right now."

"Blah Blah Blah":  My mother used to say this.  I can remember eavesdropping on her phone conversations as a child, desperate to know what she was discussing on the telephone.  She would end several sentences with "and blah blah blah".  I misunderstood though, due either to a hearing impairment or preoccupation with toys, and thought she was saying "block block block."  In my 5 year old mind, I imagined my letter blocks being used to substitute words.  So, I would try to locate the corresponding blocks and "decode" what she was talking about.  For example:  "Yeah, so Nancy called in last night and said she was sick and blah blah blah (block block block)."  I then would locate the approrpiate letter blocks (no idea what my logic was) and try to spell it out for my self.  I would end up with something like: "...said she was sick and soup dog butt." 

"And Stuff":  As I mentioned above, my friend says this.  I believe she uses it as a way to say "I could talk more about this topic, but I don't feel confident enough, but if you are interested in the other stuff I could say, just ask."  For example: "Ms Black attended activity group every day this week, she painted, sang, and stuff".  This phrase is often pulled out when the speaker is wandering into dangerous territory, such as discussing things that are beyond the speaker's level of expertise.  "Alzheimers disease causes you to forget things and stuff." 

"And Everything Like That":  I know several people who use this.  To me, it sounds as though the speaker is trying to claim intellectual ownership of the topic at hand, plus all related topics.  For example:  "Mary came to the bar last night and drank too much wine, girl, she started throwing up and everything like that."  Everything like that could include diarrhea, dry heaves, and urinating...basically expelling bodily fluids.  The speaker wants to be sure you don't say "yeah, she may have thrown up, but did she sweat?"  This phrase makes the speaker feel as though he/she is the authority on the topic (plus all related matter). 

"You know?":  UGH. This is the worst.  This is basically the speaker's way of saying "Affirm me."  The speaker is seeking your affirmation in order to be granted permission to continue.  What would happen if you said "No. I don't know" in response to this?  The conversation would come to a screeching halt, and the speaker would likely walk away thinking you were a first class asshole; even though he/she is the one who asked!  A variation of this is "You know what I'm sayin"?

"So":  This means, "I am not going to mention anything else about this, so please just change the subject".   It is often used following a threat as a way to make the threat but not actually be expected to carry it out: "I told that bitch if she called my house again I would beat her ass, so...."  So what?  So she continued to call your house?  So she never called again?  What happened next?? This phrase is also often used as a bragging tool, to shut down any further pissing in the pissing contest.  "You have a pool? Well, I have a pool AND a pool boy, so...."  So, don't even try to top that. 

"Or Whatever": This is similar to "And everything like that", but different in a distinct way.  "Or Whatever" means "I just made a point, but the opposite could be true, so I am detaching from being right; that way if the point I just made turns out to be false, then I can't be held responsible.  For example:  "The forecast calls for rain later this evening or whatever."  We all know that weather can be unpredictable.  This way, if there is no rain, the speaker won't be chastised as being a weather moron.  This prevents "I lugged this raincoat around all afternoon because you said it was supposed to rain and now it is clear!!"  It also recognizes that there are several other possibilities.  It could rain "or whatever"; or it could snow, sleet, or hail.  All the speaker knows is something might fall out of the sky. 

"But Anyway":  This is another "let's quit talking about this topic and maybe talk again about something we have already talked about before."  I had a patient who said this at the end of EVERYTHING.  "My dad left our family when I was nine, but anyway."  But anyway what?  "My dad left our family when I was nine, I like to paint, read mysteries, and garden." 

"Six of One, Half Dozen of the Other":  I have another friend who uses this as a way of saying "It makes no difference".  I hate this phrase because I want to Math-e-tize it.  I can't wrap my brain around it.  Does he mean "6 plus 6", "6 or 6", "6 of this and 12 divided by two of something else"?  And don't even make me try to say it, it is usually said at a rapid rate, and I just can't spit it out that casually.  I usually end up with "6 and half dozen other 6's".  Why not just simplify it by saying "12".  For example: "You bought Doritos and I wanted Fritos, but oh well, six of one, half dozen of the other, I suppose" could be "You bought Doritos and I wanted Fritos, twelve."  There are variations on this one as well, which further complicate the matter: "Six or one half dozen of the other", "six and one half dozen of the other" "Six to one half dozen of the other"...ugh, I was a Liberal Arts major for a reason!

Surely I have a "...", I just don't know what it is yet, because apparently, I don't listen to myself when I speak.  I will try to be more mindful of how I end my points and report back.  In the meantime, please feel free to add your own point ending phrases in the form of a comment.  And everything like that.