That's What I Get

I enjoy calling in sick to work.  I love the feeling of putting one over on my supervisor and the promise that the unexpected free day holds.  Monday was one of those days.  The greater Memphis area was blessed with temps in the 70's and sunshine, a recent rarity.  I phoned my employer (taking special care to turn the tv down--wouldn't want them to think that anything entertaining was going on here) and laid it on thick.  Seems I had done a lot of yardwork the day before (lie) and my allergies were acting up (lie); therefore, I was going to take some medicine (lie) and lie back down (lie).  After the initial rush of exhiliration, I looked around and thought, "what shall I do first?"  I knew the answer to that immediately.  Grabbing my keys, I slipped out the door and got into my car.  Driving to the "place I should not go" was weird at that hour.  People on their way to work, not me though...I still had my pajamas on! I pulled into the drive through and placed my order.  I felt a small twinge of guilt as I exchanged my money for my goods, but nothing strong enough to make me change my mind.  I unwrapped my purchase and put it in my mouth...and then set it on fire.  Yep, I slipped.  I figured as long as I was being bad by skipping work, I should just do it up right and smoke too.  Ah, hello old friend...it has been too long.

I pulled back into my driveway feeling like I had been sent home sick from school (but not really sick).  When I walked back into my house, the first thing I saw was that my dog was standing on the kitchen table.  She looked at me as though I was standing on my head, like "WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE??".  Either she had been chatting on my laptop, or she had been sampling my coffee, neither of which was good.  I changed my clothes (not sure why I didn't do that before going out into public) and did some light housework.  That was when I remembered that I had plans that night.  I checked my calendar and sure enough, I had wasted a day off.  I always consider it a waste if I have any sort of obligation at any point during the day off.  I was to meet with my leadership group at 5:30 for dinner and then sit through a county commission meeting (not that I am involved in that, it is just to see how local government works).  I sighed at my misfortune.  Now that would dictate the rest of my day.  This is why working 2nd or 3rd shift never worked for me.  I hate knowing I was about to have to do something. 

I enjoyed the day for the most part.  A nap was involved.  There was some patio time.  I walked my pup uptown and back (she laid a mustard colored turd in someone's yard...must've been the coffee).  But all day, 5:30 was hanging over my head.  I knew I would have to start getting ready at 4pm, as there would be a shower and blow out involved.  At approximately 3:45, I took my dog out and sat out in the sun for a minute.  It was so nice and warm.  I couldn't help but feel a little pissed off about my oblligation, wishing I could sit out there for the rest of the evening, smoking and drinking Corona.  It was the first warm afternoon of the year.  Instead, I got ready, applied makeup, reigned my curly hair into a conservative bun, and put on "business casual" clothes.  Ugh.  I trudged to my car, feeling like the fun was over.  Driving to the function, I made a quicke petition to the universe.  "Please let me hold my tongue and not be bitter about losing my job when people ask me how the job search is going.  They are not being nasty, just curious. Also, please show me something tonight that I didn't know before.  I just want to come away from the next few hours feeling like it was worth it." 

It seemed odd to me that the parking lot of the restaurant was empty.  I am usually the last one to arrive.  I felt a little smug as I parked my car.  After sitting there for a couple of seconds, I had the idea that maybe it had been cancelled!  I checked my email, silently praying for a reprieve.  Turns out, it wasn't cancelled.  I was scheduled for Monday,  NEXT MONDAY.  I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and felt horror.  I NEVER veer this far off the map.  Sure, I get dates wrong, get confused about the days of the week, everyone does that.  However, I went too far this time.  I actually got dressed and left the house.  DAMNIT, I wasted a chunk of my free day!  I could be at home right now, unwashed hair and all, soaking up the warm afternoon sunset.  My mascara clad eyelashes and glossy lips mocked me from the mirror.  As I made my way home, I got the paranoid feeling that every person in the oncoming cars knew. I felt especially sheepish pulling back into my driveway, after my 20 minute absence.  I basically spent an hour getting ready for a twenty minute drive.  Even my dog was suspcious of my return.  I did the only thing I could do.  I shed those clothes, put my raggedy outfit back on, grabbed a beer, my smokes, and my dog and hit the patio.

A nip had settled in the air by then, the sun had already set (thank God DST starts Sunday), but I was going to enjoy my beer on the patio time, no matter what.  I reflected on the afternoon's events and finally allowed myself to laugh about it.  So, once again, I had been granted exactly what I had asked for.  I learned something that I didn't realize...that I have A LOT going on and need to pay closer attention rather than wandering around through the days.  And, the Universe knows me well enough to know that I would not be able to withhold snappish comments at this point.  In the end, what was supposed to happen is exactly what happened.  The next morning, as I was getting ready for work, my dog watched me with doubt...