Just When I Thought It Was Safe...

Lately, I have found the many of the firm plans I made have crumbled around my feet.  I will format this post in a "Just When I Thought It Was Safe" format:

Just When I Thought It Was Safe To say out loud how much I want to join the roller derby but the only thing holding me back was my upcoming school schedule, my class gets cancelled.  Why does the Universe feck with me like that??  I am a 3 omen kind of gal.  When the first omen presents itself, I usually disregard it, if I even notice it (Omens are far more recognizable in hindsight).  I equate the first omen with a whisper...something I probably misunderstood (Did he say "Can I borrow your Kroger card" or "Can I call you some time?" When I am not paying attention, my hearing is awful).  The second omen is more like a poke.  Something I actually take note of, and consider.  The third omen, is like a shove.  I definitely notice and act.  The third omen is usually undeniable.  So, either the Universe just whispered to me, "You should totally try roller derby" or it breathed "You should totally wear your hair curly."  This bears watching.

Just When I Thought It Was Safe To quit dating and just be happy with the people currently in my life, I meet some guy who throws it into a tailspin.  It is far too early to say what is going on here, but I don't feel the usual dread and dodginess that normally accompanies meeting someone new.  I don't even know if I like this guy yet, but I am not repulsed by the notion of finding out.  I feel as though I am on the verge of something big here, not necessarily with the guy; but with something.  I can't put my finger on it, but it is a feeling that some things are about to change and my rigid comfortable life is about to be blown to bits.  This may be a good thing.

Just When I Thought It Was Safe To make new friends and schedule activities to fill up my free time, my free time has dwindled down to very little.  I had forgotten how much free time is lost with work.  And now that Saturday and Sundays are my "free days" again, I am not so open to giving them away like business cards.  For example, I obligated myself to SATC 2 last weekend and felt like I had lost 8 years in two AND A HALF hours.  I couldn't help but think wistful thoughts about the chaise lounge time I was missing out on.  I further obligated myself to additional plans for the upcoming weekend, then remembered that this weekend is the opening of the city pool.  City pool time is extremely important to me.  It is a time for me to immerse myself in water and dry in the sun, rinse and repeat.  All day.  Only to come home looking like a fresh from the oven biscuit and stretching out in the shade for a long summer's nap.  This is my idea of Heaven and there is only room for one in my Heaven.  So, being social and friendly is on Summer break, starting this weekend. 

Just When I Thought It Was Safe To let go of my first true love, my best friend sends me a picture of his HUGE wife snapped covertly on her cell phone.  For this prize, I have pledged my best friend the window bed at Shady Acres Rest Home when we move in.  My first true love dumped me at the 4th of July Fireworks Extravaganza on the banks of West Point Lake in 1991.  He dumped me for a skank named LeeAnn and I will forever harbor ill feelings towards this man (boy) stealing bitch.  They eventually married and I like to think that every day he wakes up next to the sow that she turned into and wishes he had made a different choice all those years ago.  In a twist of fate, his wife is the Summer school teacher to my friend's middle school sons.  She also directs the traffic.  I have renewed hope that he is miserable.  Here is proof:

Awesome.  And yes, I am petty. Sue me.  I loved that guy. 

So, there it goes.  Here's hoping for a not-so-safe Summer!!