Frugality

I have amassed a tidy fortune. Without getting a second job. Without doing anything illegal. Without starving. Here are some observations:

1. It is amazing what people will pay for your shit. I cleaned out closets and sheds and ended up with a pile of Ebay wares. After stepping over Mt. Saint Profit for a couple of months, I finally organized the pile and listed the things on Ebay. Knowing myself was key, and from past experience, I knew that listing everything at once was a bad idea. The joy of the windfall would be overshadowed by the stress of mailing all that crap at once. So, I listed four things at a time. I researched completed auctions and shipping prices; and sweated out the auctions until the last second. The thrill of the price doubling in the final seconds of the auctions is without compare. This all came to a screeching halt a couple of weeks ago, following my first experience with a Paypal dispute. It really is scary how quickly all that money can disappear at some unscrupulous buyer's whim. Thankfully, it worked out to my advantage, but the experience soured me on any further dealings with this venue. My pile had already been reduced to maybe a closet shelf's worth of junk; therefore, I still consider it a win. This practice alone earned me enough money to finance my food, drink, fun, and swag kitty for my upcoming Florida trip.

2. Growing up, my mother was adamant about unplugging things when not in use. She was convinced that a plugged in (not turned on) coffee pot would burst into flames as soon as our car backed out of the driveway; therefore, before we left the house, we had to make the rounds of unplugging small appliances. Weird, I know. This is the same woman who made my brother and I stand in the hallway wearing rubber flip flops during thunderstorms so as not to spontaneously combust into flames from being struck by lightening. "Ya'll go put your thongs on!" took on a totally different meaning in my house. Anyway, turns out, Mom had a good idea...misguided as it was. Turns out, unplugging things saves money. Nothing that required "resetting" upon my return...such as things with clocks; but laptops, hair dryers, phone chargers, etc were all added to the list of things to disable before leaving home. I also made a conscious effort to limit the use of overhead lights and pulled out my old fashioned wooden clothes dryer to dry the things that usually require 2-3 rounds in the dryer. I had no idea of the impact of these measures, until I received my electric bill. It was cut IN HALF. Not half of the previous month, but half of the previous year's same month amount. Keeping the 42" flat screen plasma tv on "for background noise" has clearly cost me thousands of dollars in the last 6 years. My Ipod is much better (and economical) company. Because I budget according to the historical amount of bills, I saved enough on this exercise to easily treat my mom and her husband to a Mother's Day brunch without sweating the debt. I could think of no more appropriate allocation for this windfall.

3. As I mentioned in a previous post, I committed myself to driving slower. Within a couple of days of beginning this practice, I promptly received a speeding ticket. I had to let that go, pay the stupid tax, and press on. 90% of the miles that I drive earn me half a dollar. My company reimburses at a fairly generous rate, so I tried to 1) maximize those miles by combining personal errands with work errands, and 2) maximize the miles by burning less gas per mile. Each month, I receive a mileage check. It occured to me that I was in control of how much of that check goes toward the gas and how much goes into my pocket. Tinkering with that percentage by increasing fuel mileage eliminated one entire tank of gas in a month's time. Ripping and tearing to make appointments on time by driving at least 70mph was costing me an unnecessary $55 a month. After making the last visit of the day, sure, I am still in a hurry to get home; however, it is daylight longer and I don't have to do 80 mph just to gain an additional 10 minutes. This exercise has saved me enough to get Ms. H groomed, clipped, and vaccinated without worry of additional debt.

4. I stopped reading the Commercial Appeal. This was one of the hardest things for me. I love reading the Sunday paper, always have. I can spend hours sitting with a pot of coffee, a pack of smokes, and a nice thick paper. As much as I love the news, the best part of the paper was always the circulars. I saved these for last. And, as I perused the Target, Macy's, Walgreen's, and K-Mart ads, I began to believe that these ads were basically photo albums of things that I require. How on Earth have I lived 36 years without a leather clad ottoman? That Olay Pro-X facial cleaning system is just the thing I need to fill the empty 1"X1" space in my medicine cabinet. A family sized box of Fruity Pebbles for $3??? Sign me up! Wait, don't. Do not sign me up. I don't need this stuff. And, if I don't know about it, I don't know what I am missing. So, I read the Commercial Appeal online now, sans sales papers. I have saved untold amounts of money in this exercise.

5. It seems counterintuitive to say that I have started using my credit card more frequently to save money, but there is a logic here. My credit card has a great rewards program. Basically, one point per dollar spent, with promotions for 5 points per dollar on certain things, and an occasional super promotion offering upwards of 10-15 points at certain retailers. If I time the bonus periods right, I can hit the reward points jackpot. This is where my anal retentive predisposition is an advantage. I patiently waited to plant my flowers until my credit card rewarded me to do so. I pulled out my shiny blue card at the grocery check-out because Chase was rewarding me to do so. I spilled a little bleach on my favorite Lands End navy polo. I bought another, and Chase rewarded me with nearly 500 points for doing so. I have two rules that I religiously follow in this exercise. The first rule is that the transaction must be something that I would normally spend money on. It defeats the purpose to charge up a bunch of additional debt to receive cash back just to pay off the additional debt. My new flower bed, complete with dirt, mulch, timbers, and flowers was an expense I had been planning for, but by waiting a couple of weeks for the bonus period, I spent the budgeted money for the expense and racked up over 1000 points for the trouble. The second rule is the most important. I have to pay off whatever I charge, before the closing date. Again, it does not make sense (cents) to run up a credit card bill, plus a finance charge, to get cash back just to pay the bill. Because groceries, gas, healthcare, and projects are things that I would normally spend money on, and are included in the monthly budget, I whip out my card without worry. I have accumulated enough points in the last 3 months to receive both a $25 Home Depot Gift Card and a check that will cover a new pair of prescription sunglasses just in time for Florida.

6. Take care of things now, and save a pile of money later. I have learned this lesson the hard way countless times. I used to play tricks on myself. I told myself, "Self, just don't think about it, and it will go away." I let toothaches go for months, so that I didn't have to drop the money for dental work (I need a leather clad ottoman!) Fast forward two months, and instead of spending the $100 for a filling, I spent $800 for a root canal. I ignore the warning light on my dashboard, thinking of the money that I am saving, and then get hit with a $1000 repair bill. I convince myself that I can't afford the small fix, then find myself scrambling to pay for the big fix. Well, I am done with that. I am taking care of it....right now. Now, instead of ignoring the issue, I have trained myself to hear the sound of coins dropping into a metal pail for every day that the issue remains unresolved. Instead of reviewing all the things that I would rather purchase with the money that should be spent on the small fix, I think about the necessities that I may go without while I pay through the nose for the big fix. It is that shift from instant gratification to future security that tells me I am getting older. And in this instance, getting older is saving me money.

7. This is my year of charity. I am not a donor. I hang on to both my time and my money as if they were the last piece of bread in a post apocalyptic world. This year, I learned to let go of a little of both; and the rewards have been ten-fold. As I was cleaning out my closets, I came across items that were not suitable for Ebay. What to do with this stuff? I do not like clutter, so my first thought was to just pile the crap up at the curb to be hauled away. Then, by happenstance, I found out about the Covington Animal Rescue Effort. C.A.R.E. is an organization that rescues pets from the local animal shelter and fosters them until they can find them permanent homes. The local shelter does not have the facilities to allow for adoption of pets; therefore, any pet that ends up there faces certain death. C.A.R.E. frees the pet, places it in a foster home where it receives medical care, food, shelter, and most importantly, love. This is how I came to know my own dog, Harriet. This effort is strictly funded by fundraisers and out of the pockets of the volunteers. In my shed, I came across a kennel that Harriet deemed unacceptable that was in excellent condition. As I was preparing to haul it down to the street, I wished I knew a pup who could benefit from it. Before reaching the end of the driveway, I thought about C.A.R.E., which I had come across on Facebook some months ago. I looked up the page, found the phone number for the director and called her up. She informed me that a puppy had been rescued the night before, a victim of animal cruelty, and that he was in desperate need of a kennel at his new foster home. I was given an address and a couple of hours later, Skippy had his new digs. I followed Skippy's progress on Facebook, feeling satisfied that I had helped him in a small way. A few days later, I came across an unexpected $20. Before I could drop this money into a budget slot, I placed it into an envelope and mailed it to C.A.R.E., with a note asking that it go towards Skippy's treatments. I did not sign the note, because I did not need recognition. I did tell one friend about it, and that friend, in turn, mailed another $20. I used to equate donating money to wadding it up and throwing it out of the window. Never again. Since this revelation, I have been the recipient of several unexpected windfalls. That $20 has come back to me and then some, perhaps not directly, but in ways that I am convinced are related to letting go of a little dough to help my fellow man (or pup). When I saw that C.A.R.E. is having a yard sale to raise funds, I immediately knew the fate of that closet shelf full of things that I would not be posting on Ebay. I won't profit from it, but the knowledge that a pup will is profit enough for me.

8. Skimp, but not on the following items: Coffee, Paper Towels, Toilet Paper, Detergent, Dishwashing Liquid, Cigarettes, Body Lotion, and Orange Juice. I have done it, and let me tell you, it isn't saving any money. Two things happen when I attempt to skimp. First, the quality is terrible and I then find myself having to force myself to finish the supply so that I can get back to what's good. Cheap coffee is a good example. I bought an enormous can of generic coffee at Sav-A-Lot for like, $3. Feeling pretty good about this, I brewed a pot the next morning and nearly spat that shit out all over the kitchen. Swill. Factory floor sweepings. It was awful. And, according to the can, I had almost 100 more pots to go. I could not bring myself to just throw it away. It ran out last week, thank God. I used it up faster than I expected due to the second effect of skimping. When you buy the cheap shit, you have to use twice as much to bring it up to an acceptable quality level. Had I spat that terrible coffee all over my kitchen, I would have required nearly an entire roll of cheap paper towels to wipe it up. I would have had to use 3 capfuls of cheap laundry detergent to wash it out of my clothes. The cup would have required two squirts of dish liquid to come clean. How long have I wasted money on this ruse??

9. I collect toiletries. Not mini hotel products, but actual full size bottles of body wash, body lotion, shampoo, and conditioner. This is because I am obsessed with moving on to the next new thing. I will purchase a bottle of body wash and use it. I will use it until I get bored with the scent. Then, I will buy another one. The half used one is then placed in the Hygiene Rest Home aka the linen closet. After fighting the numerous falling half filled bottles for a towel one evening, it dawned on me that I need not ever buy hygiene products again. I had enough product in that closet to clean, fragrance, and manage the frizz of a family of four for ten years. So, I made a committment to use it up. However long that takes. This week I will smell like Jasmine. Next week, Cotton. The following week, Lemons. The 10-20% of my grocery bill that is normally devoted to these products can now be spent on name brand coffee. And I will no longer have to navigate the Land of Forgotten Product for a bath towel.

10. It is important to have a goal. All this frugality would be wasted without an allocation. I am of the "Everything in it's place and a place for everything" school of thought. I can't just have money floating around, without a purpose. If I do, that money will disappear...quick! So, all my efforts in the past few months have been devoted to the goal of saving money for my trip to Florida. I want to go to Florida with enough money in my beach bag to enjoy myself without care. I want to put my little "Hey, I need a drink over here!" umbrella up on my beach chair as many times as I want to. I don't want to order the pasta when I want the scallops. And when I come home, I want to admire my tan...not my credit card bill. Always looking ahead, I am already thinking about my next goal, once Florida is a memory. Will it be home improvements? A new car? Another trip? Who knows, but one thing is certain...When I am good to my savings account, my savings account is good to me.

In closing, women in my demographic are often overlooked in the frugality movement. Being a mid thirties (24 more days!), single, non parent woman who does not cook often gives the impression that I have piles of money just laying around to finance my perceived life of luxury. I have no use for diaper coupons, tips on how to feed a family of four for under $20, or information on how to cut my drug bill in half. The reality is, I am responsbile for coming up with my own money saving routine, since I am overlooked by the likes of Redbook, Money, and AARP magazines. So, to all the single ladies out there who are wishing they could lead the fabulous lives that their married/parent/elderly friends and families think they do...I have this to say: If a hard-headed, product obsessed, beach loving, liberal arts degree having, mortgage paying, gas guzzling car owning, overworked social worker can do this...anyone can. Sometimes the answer is right in front of you, all you have to do is unplug it, fix it, sell it, use it, or give it away.