An Introduction

So, here I am. This is my umpteenth blog, but this one is different (really!). For starters, I am not telling anyone about it. That way, no one's feelings will inhibit what I write...and for this subject, brutal honesty is key. Also, the words written here will be the truest ones to ever cross my screen. No gloss. No embellishment. No bull. In order to spell out what brought me to the creation of this blog, I will use the 5 W's format. Enjoy!



Who. I am a thirty five year old single white female. Josie is not my real name, it is the title of one of my favorite Steely Dan songs, a song that I can well relate to. I moved away from all that was familiar and close twelve years ago...in an effort to not end up like those that were familiar and close. Along the way, I obtained a husband, an exhusband, the best boyfriend ever, the worst ex boyfriend ever, some casual guy friends, a close guy friend, and a dog. Notice anything missing? Girlfriends. I don't have any. None. I hope to change that. Soon.



What. I chose this format because while I enjoy writing in my journal, longhand, it isn't really convenient. Plus, I have terrible penmanship. I have always wanted to be a published writer, but so scattered that I could never get my shit together to compile a sensical story. A friend suggested that I start a blog (I have a few others...which I will probably abandon soon, as usual) to try out different techniques. I decided to start a new blog and write about what I know...or rather, what I don't know. I don't know what it is like to have a social life. I am well aquainted with dating. Marrying. Divorcing. One Night Standing. But, in my mastery of all things men, I lost out on the thing that would carry me into middle age laughing instead of lamenting. I neglected to make friends. A serious oversight. So, now I am a thirty five year old woman who literally considers her dog her best friend.



Where. This is a major blow to friend finding. I live in a small town about half an hour north of Memphis, TN. I moved here with my former husband, to raise a family. Having a social life wasn't important then, it never even factored into our decision to leave Memphis. We had each other...what else did we need?? Well, that was how I saw it. My exhusband needed something on the side, apparently. So, back to Memphis he went, and I stayed here to establish "roots". I like my quiet little town, but it isn't really conducive to developing friendships. Everyone here already has friends. And kids. And husbands. I am definitely in a minority. I have friends, I managed to hang on to a few, but they live back home...400 miles away.



When. Now. The time is now. Before I get any older. And bitter. I was a mean girl. If there was a sarcastic, under the breath comment made...it was likely made by me. This still rings true. Its what I do. My schtick. I am the sarcastic sidekick. In my youth and early adulthood, it was easy to be who I was. My friends were all mean. I was secure in my role. Now, there isn't really a market for sarcasm. If I had a nickle for the number of times someone said, "hahahaha, don't say that...its mean.", I wouldn't need friends! So, I am seeing now that I have to either cloak my inner bitch or just keep blogging about rejection.



Why. I need friends. Plain and simple. I have spent a lot of time either alone or with some guy, not cultivating connections that would prove invaluable. It is so easy to find men...so difficult to find females to befriend. After leaving the warm cocoon of high school, college, and hometown...it is nearly impossible. I picked up a couple of friends along the way, through work; but jobs end and meeting for catch up lunches becomes more and more inconvenient, until finally, facebook serves as the catch up meetings. Last night, as I sat here in my quaint little home, alone, I thought about what I would rather be doing. The answer was very clear. I wished I could be hosting my friends, drinking copious amounts of wine, laughing, gossipping, sparring, eating...all the things I imagine girlfriends do. In lieu of this, I took two pain pills and drifted in and out of consciousness for the evening.



And now, one extra thing: How. How will I go about building a rich network of female friends? For starters, I am keeping an open mind. Although, in the past, some methods proved to be futile (church), I realize that I am a different person now. So, currently, I participate in a twice a week aerobics class. I also participate in a leadership program through the chamber of commerce (which is basically a resume builder...not a friendship thing). So far...that is it. The aerobics class may prove to be more fruitful than I thought, but it will be tough. My initial inclination is to hang back and approach another loner when I spot her. But, so far...I am the only loner. So, this method may require some tweaking. The women there are nice enough, but cliquish. So, time will tell. Currently, work is not a good friend finding option as I will soon be unemployed due to the closing of my department. I hate all those bitches anyway, so good riddance.



So, there you have it. Much like Julie worked her way through French cooking, I am working my way through expanding my social circle. Along the way, I will chronicle the ups and downs, the guffaws, the warm fuzzies, the pissy moments, and the successes (I hope!). And, perhaps fate will smile on me and I will get a lucrative book/movie deal out of all this. But, if not, even if I make one friend, one buddy, one connection, my life will be all the more rich.