Eleven Things.

Last night, I talked myself into a bath. That's right, I had to convince myself to bathe. Normally, I take a quick shower, as quickly as possible, then go to bed. Lately, my schedule has been hectic (read: shitty) and I feel my grip on my time loosening with every obligation. It isn't necessarily work, a lot of it is self created. When I get home from work, I feel the burden of all the crap that needs to be done at home; therefore, I usually busy myself with busy work for the short chunk of time that is supposed to be my own. Sweeping, mopping, folding clothes, dusting, organizing, reorganizing, scrubbing....if I had more time, I would address my obvious OCD issues; however, doing so means something would get left unpolished at home. It makes me stressed out when there is something undone. I can't just sit and enjoy a movie when I know that somewhere in the house, there is a dust bunny lurking. It is crazy, I already know. And, I am not at all sure where it came from. I wasn't a tidy kid, my parents are not neat freaks, and in the grand scheme of things, I know it doesn't matter. Am I overcompensating for not having children by cleaning my house like I do? So, anyway...back to the bath. Even that is an ordeal.

Before I can sit in the tub and soak, I have to clean the tub. Not because I am a germaphobe, but because my dog has a weird habit of hanging out in the tub when I am not home. Her dirty little paws leave prints all over it, so much so that it actually looks as though I have some sort of custom painted tub. Anyway, I have to clean up the paw prints. So, last night, I decided it would be worth the effort. I have the process down to a science. Scrubbing Bubbles is a great product for people who want to clean while they wait to clean something else. Spray, scrub (yes, I know it is supposed to do it for me...but Harriet's dirt is tough), rinse. I fill up the tub, add my bath additives, then get in. Harriet comes in and after a big sigh, lies down beside the tub, probably thinking, "I worked so hard on that tub today...damn." As I soaked away my cares compiled my to do list for Wednesday, I noticed the bottle of Philosophy Apricots and Cream bath gel. There is a recipe for actual Apricots and Cream on the front of the bottle. I decided to compile a new list:

STUFF I WOULD DO IF I HAD MORE TIME
I would:
1. Actually make the Apricots and Cream recipe from the Philosophy bottle. I've never had an apricot, so I don't know if I would even like it, but I can't remember the last time I made a recipe just for the hell of it.
2. Sketch. The closest I come to actually doing something creative is dusting my drawing table.
3. Read. Those summer reading books that I was soooo excited about a few months ago? Still in the tall stack I placed them in. Officially changed the name of the stack to Fall Reading Stack and placed a moratorium on any new reading materials.
4. Pet Harriet's pretty little head. I miss my dog when I am out there rushing from client to client. I recently commited to walking her at least 3-4 times a week and am keeping this commitment. I just wish I had more time to actually invite her into my lap and pat her belly. That would require sitting.
5. Sit more. With the exception of lunch, which I normally eat in the car, I eat most of my meals standing up. I have plenty of comfortable seating options, including a lovely rocking chair on the front porch, perfect for enjoying the cool evenings. I need to use that...after cleaning it.
6. Watch all the stuff in my DVR, as well as my Netflix queue. I still haven't seen the final season of Nip/Tuck.
7. Shop. Yes, that is a risky situation. I do shop now, but for things to make life easier...gadgets, tools, food. I mean shop for nothing. Of course, that is a dangerous thing for me, being budgeted to death, but it would be nice to go to some of my old haunts for an afternoon (Celery, Davis Kidd/DK, Fresh Market, Steinmart, Olde Time Pottery, etc).
8. Visit my mom. Sometimes, I crave going home and pretending I am 8.
9. Get drunk. I love wine and liquor, but what fun is it to have a nice glass of wine while sweeping the floor? I remember sitting on my patio on Friday nights, listening to the sounds of the nearby high school football game, needing a blanket, and finishing off a bottle of merlot. How long ago was that? Last year? Two years ago? Funny Sad thing is, my home is no more improved now than then, so what have I been wasting time on???
10. Call my friends. I am not a phone talker. This is yet another example of how different I am from how I used to be. I abhor talking on the phone, no matter who it is. Sometimes I will get a wild hair, and will call up someone I haven't talked to in a while, but then after about 5 minutes, I am ready to hang up. I wonder if Facebook killed my desire to catch up? More than likely, it is the fact that I talk to people that I generally do not want to talk to all day. When I am on the phone, I think about all the things I could be doing if I wasn't on the phone. If I had more time, I would call up my friends and post up for a marathon phone call, without a care about what was left undone.
11. Ride my bike. My boyfriend bought me a fabulous bike for my birthday. It really is awesome. I have ridden it three times since June. There is a limitation on my time with the bike; however, as it is kept at his house because he lives on the bike trail. There is nowhere to ride the bike here at my house. Therefore, riding the bike involves all sorts of scheduling and planning. That sucks.

I'm on to something here...I feel as though I have to perfect things before I can enjoy them, and get so caught up in the perfecting that I have no time or energy for enjoying. I require perfect conditions before partaking. Perfection was never a big thing for me, I was never an overachiever, my parents were of the "good enough" school of parenting, I certainly don't look like a perfectionist with my stubble legs and wild frizzy hair; so what is that about? I should really take some time to sort that out...

but my coffee pot is grungy.