All Of Me

Seems I remember several months ago, while discussing my planned success with Weight Watchers, I smugly counted my chickens before they hatched. I made a half hearted effort at weight watchers, and threw $60 out the window. I may have lost 5 pounds, maybe. Fast forward a few months...I feel fat again.

I am taking a history lesson this time...I am not spending a dime on something that I, historically, do not see through. Enter the Fitness Pal app for my Iphone. This app tracks my food intake and exercise (he he he) and then spits out an analysis for me. It satisfies my OCD with data. I like entering, tracking, and analyzing data. I just don't like paying to do so. Fitness Pal makes keeping up with calories like a game: only the fewer points the better. Enjoy a glass of milk...plus 90. Walk Harriet...minus 100. So much easier than trying to figure out the point value of everything. I get a 1200 calorie allowance each day. Yesterday was day one.

After it was all said and done (and digested), I got a neat little snapshot of my nutritional habits. I was surprised at how nutritious my diet actually is. I figured I would just track my usual eating habits for a few days, to get an idea of where I need work. I had pretty much decided that my normal diet was about as healthy as cigarettes dipped in salt. Wrong. Take sodium, for example. I was nowhere near the daily sodium intake. And, I dined at McDonald's for lunch (although I did skip the fries.) Another observation is that I should never suffer a broken bone...ever. My calcium intake was right on target, maybe a little over. What can I say...I loves me some milk...and Tums. Eat two Tums...you have half your daily calcium intake. Cholesterol is not an issue either, didn't get close to recommendation. Of course, I realize that this is not necessarily a good thing, a balanced diet is just that...balanced. Both salt and fat are necessary. But, my idea of how I was eating was so bad that I figured I was teetering on the edge of a coronary. Turns out...not so bad.

I didn't feel guilty, the way I did with Weight Watchers. I did go over the 1200 calorie allowance, by 120 calories. This morning, it's a new day! No haunting deficit. One food mistake would follow me around for at least 7 days with weight watchers. I prefer to pay the tax and move on. Not that weight watchers is bad...it is actually a great program, but just not for me. Not that fitness pal is right for me, either...too soon to tell. It is just one thing in a list of changes I feel that I need to make, including cutting back my smoking, working on my procrastination, addressing my neglected creative needs, etc etc etc. Self improvement is my bag.

Lately, I have this overwhelming feeling that I am not enjoying my life. I am living it, but not savoring it. I am basically happy, but kind of on auto pilot...maintaining. Get up, go to work, work long day, come home, clean house, clean me, pet Harriet, go to bed. Repeat. That puts a lot of pressure on the weekends.

I remember many many many years ago, sitting around with some aimless friends. It was a Wednesday. We were making plans for the upcoming weekend. I remember saying to my then boyfriend, "I do NOT want to become the person who lives for the weekend." He had no idea what I was talking about. I'd be willing to bet that he is still living for the weekend. I need to enjoy all my days. Taking better care of my physical self will help my creative self come up with things that will make my emotional self happy.

And with that...I need to get myselves ready for work.