Whatchu Talkin Bout Elton?

As much as I love music, I misunderstand A LOT of lyrics. I readily admit this, usually just substituting the word "meow" for the parts I don't understand. Try it, it usually fits nicely.

Elton John is one of my favorite artists, but dude does not annunciate well at all. Each one of his songs has a lyric in it that gives me pause and then brings out the "meows". There are other songs, which my college roommate and I butchered, that still make me laugh to this day at the ridiculousness of what we thought they said. What follows is a true account of butchered lyrics that still, to this day, make me chuckle:

1. What I heard: Hold me closer Tony Danza, Count the Head Lice on the highway.
What he said: Hold me closer tiny dancer, count the head lights on the highway.
"Tiny Dancer" by Elton John.

2. What I heard: It's Saturday Night, have you seen my legs?
I still have no idea what he actually said
"Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting" by Elton John

3. What I heard: She's got electric boobs, her mom has two.
What he said: She's got electric boots, a mohair suit.
"Bennie and The Jets"...again...Elton John

4. What I heard: Cinnamon Gum!!
What he said: Should've been gone!
"Oh Sherry" by Steve Perry

5. What I heard: He is a Woman
What they said: Evil woman
"Evil Woman" by ELO

6. What I heard: I'm not your wallet on a chain
What he said: And not your puppet on a string
"I Just Want to be Your Everything" by Andy Gibb

7. What I heard: Cry in the night if it helps, And Mama n'em
Again, I have no idea what he actually said
"I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues"...Elton John

8. What I heard: And Rot Inside a Corporate Shell
What he said: something to the effect of rot inside a corpse and shell.
"Thriller" by Michael Jackson (the Vincent Price part)

9. What I heard: There's maxis in the bathroom, just below the stairs
What he said: There's matches in the bathroom, just below the stairs
"Nobody Told Me" by John Lennon

10. What I heard: Mennen, by mennen by mennen I keep holding on
What he said: Minute by minute by minute I keep holding on
"Minute By Minute" Michael McDonald

11. What I heard: Queen of Tacoma
What he said: Queen of Corona
"Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" by Paul Simon

12. What I heard: When you come to me and the suppers free
What they said: And you come to me on a summer's breeze
"How Deep Is Your Love" by the Bee Gees

13. What I heard: Stretch marks for dollars
What she said: Deustch marks or dollars
"Private Dancer" by Tina Turner

These are but a few. Please feel free to either share your own misheard lyrics for everyone's enjoyment, or to correct the ones that I still don't know the answer to.